I've found myself waiting for my period ... How odd. I want to use that Diva cup. I go to the bathroom, 'has it started now? ... How about now? Yeah? ... Yeah? Maybe?'

Idsey and I have been jumping, you know, hurdles and stuff. The dogs only do it half assed and end up knocking it down half the time, although I know they can do it, especially Kashmir. I think i've killed my legs a little bit. My groin too. I'm here waddling try to use the least amount of muscles I can. Ow.

Mother always ends up yelling at me when I lag off on the school work, which is understandable. But this time i'd only not done it one day and she blew off at me. You attack me, i'll attack you. I told her later on after i'd done the work that all I need is to be told to do it. Even that voice of concern is enough motivation. I don't need to be pounded or yelled at to get on with it. She certainly didn't realize that.

Self absorbed people need to go and fuck themselves. How lame.

The Linda McCartney Story was on Lifetime the night after last. Oh boy. I think I about pissed myself laughing at their Beatle boys. And the accents!!! Ahahaha! Oh man. They had horses though and the most adorable sheepdog! Yes! That made me happy. The Wings mullets as well which was horrifying as usual. And a Rickenbacker bass! That was definitely pretty. I recommend that movie to anyone and everyone. Lifetime movie gold ... Actually it was pretty bad and I couldn't take it very seriously. It was cheesy and sentimental and it made me horridly uncomfortable and giggly. Yay for not knowing how to act in emotional situations! Oh well, I prefer to be emotionally constipated rather than an emotional mess. Women frustrate me because of it. Mother got rather huffy when I said sometimes I most definitely hate her. I gave her my permission to hate me if she wanted it ;). Not to be cruel, but I was just being honest ... to a fault. Everyone has their faults and I feel that it's best that they know what they are, or rather, when they're showing it. Mother doesn't seem to realize ... Just hoping that she'll get that I want her off my back. Constantly feeling that i'm on the edge of failing this school bit and quitting. Which, i'll have you know, I haven't ever given a hint of. She's just awfully pessimistic about it and it's awfully discouraging and annoying.

I just ... you know, I don't relate to the people who flow with emotions and cry out of happiness and ... it does make me uncomfortable. I'm not sure why though. I don't think it's out of jealousy, though I could be wrong. I need a therapist to figure out my quirks ;). I'd really like to know why I flinch when people touch me. That i'm most curious about. They could dig in my brain ahaha. Although i'm not fond of getting others help. Mother said it would be quite big of me to get a tutor for math. And it would. But I don't want to be incapable in front of someone. Ahaha, oh I definitely have issues. Afraid of being weak. Ah!! That's it! Well thank you me, for answering my question. Very helpful of you. Much abliged.

You know, what I really need a tutor for is in Latin. That class is hard as fuck. Because not only am I learning a new language, but i'm learning grammar as well. I mean, this whole language revolves around it. The word changes if it's being used in a different situation in the sentence. It's all very confusing and it just flies over my head. My poor brain aches with misuse over the past few months. I didn't realize that your brain could get unfit from not using it. How shitty. I should've chosen an easier language.

I need to go out and do something so I can have interesting things to talk about. Life is horridly stuffy at the moment.